The Great Watermelon Battle An attempt at humor; 13: implied sexual situations
The New Trainees Patlabor/Gundam Wing Xover; 13: implied sexual situations
Lemon Joy Cowritten with Tiercel; NC-17: explicit sexual situations
Lemon Pledge Cowritten with Tiercel; NC-17: explicit sexual situations
The New Recruits

Section Chief Goto called everyone into his office. "We have some new recruits for the SV2. They'll be doing their training with us."

"Man, why us?" Ohta grumbled. "I hate trainees."

"Because we have the best facility, best labors, and best pilots," the chief replied with half-lidded eyes. "And SV1 wouldn't take them. They start tomorrow."

The next morning six young men arrived at the SV2 barracks.

"Hey, good morning! Anybody home?" called the boy with a long braid through he door to the garage. "Wow. They've got Ingrams! I've always wanted to pilot one of those. Wonder if they'll let me work on them."

A boy with short hair and a dark expression glared at him.

Section Chief Goto greeted the six boys. "Good morning. Come with me." He led them through the garage, where he introduced them to the mechanics, to his office, where the 4 SV2 officers were waiting.

"What nursery school did you get these kids from?" Ohta growled.

"Hey, I've been piloting labors for my dad's construction company since I was 12. I'm the best pilot in the company," the braided boy boasted.

Ohta frowned.

The sullen boy simply grunted, "Hn."

Goto gazed nonchalantly at the scene in front of him. "Time for introductions. Pilot of Alphonse, Izumi Noa. Her partner, Shinohara Asuma. Pilot of Labor 02, Ohta. His partner Kumagami." A he spoke, he gestured to each of them. "New recruits, I will be putting you in pairs to work together, and putting you with these officers."

"But there are six of us, and four of them," stated the blond boy.

"True. We have two more officers from First Division coming soon." He took a drag from his cigarette. "Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton. You will be working with Ohta and Kumagami. Duo Maxwell, Quatre Winner. You will be working with Izumi and Shinohara."

Two women entered Goto's office. "I'm sorry we're late."

Goto nodded. "Chang Wufei, Treize Khushrenada. You will be working with Section Chief Clancy and her partner Noin."

The Chinese boy glowered. "Onna. Weak Onna. I won't work with them."

Clancy glared at him. "Weak, huh? I challenge you to a drinking match, tonight."

The other four SV2's sweatdropped. They'd seen Clancy drink. She'd outdrunk even Ohta.

Goto watched them, unperturbable. "Training shall commence now. With the partnerships I have assigned."


The braided pilot extended his hand to the small blond. "Nice to meet ya."

"Nice to meet you." Izumi and Shinohara escorted them to the labor hangar.

"Wow, these are so cool. Do you think they'd let me look at the mechanical stuff?" Duo asked.

Head Mechanic Shiba looked at this small boy with an overly long braid, who wanted to get inside his labors. "Why should I?"

"I fix the labors at my dad's all the time. I even make a few nice adjustments to them- increase efficiency."

"..." Shiba mulled. "No."

"Aww, man. These labors are much cooler than the ones my dad has. Can I at least see the specs?"

"We have to get training, Duo," Quatre said.

"Oh, right. Sorry. Let's go."


The sullen boy nodded at the other quiet boy. Ohta and Kumagami led them to the training area. The silence was only broken when they arrived at the hangar, and Trowa gasped.

"Wow, that's big." That was the full extent of the conversation the rest of the day.


Treize extended a hand to the Chinese boy. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." Wufei took the other boy's hand and shook it.

"Let's get something straight here. I'm your commanding officer. You will show me respect," Clancy asserted.

"You're a woman," Wufei replied. "You're weak, and you let your emotions control you."

"Grr. Drinking match. Tonight."

The two women from Section 1 led them to the hangar.


The first day of training was fairly uneventful. After dinner, five officers and five recruits gathered in the lounge, to become acquainted and to see the drinking match between Clancy and Wufei.

Two young men sat silently regarding the other.

Two young men were engaged in conversations about their reasons for joining SV2.

Two women and a man joined them.

One young man sat alone, watching the rest of the young men.

One man sat silently glaring at the rest of the troops.

One young man sat across a low table from a woman who had a score to settle. The last woman sat alongside the table. She poured two small glasses of sake.

Heero was watching the young man who would serve as his ground control during police calls. He looks reliable. Quiet, too. Not like that loudmouth Maxwell. He took his eyes off of his partner and cast a cutting glance at the loudmouth in question, who was delightedly talking to the small blond he'd been paired with.

Trowa regarded Heero coolly. This guy is serious. Very serious. He's gonna make a good officer. Finally deciding to speak, he asked a question. "What brought you to SV2?"

"Hn. I have a duty to protect those who can't fight for themselves. You?"

"I had nothing better to do." They continued to sit silently, turning their attention to the rest of the room.

"So, Quatre... Why are you here in SV2? Isn't your father rich?" Duo asked his partner.

"He is. I didn't want to stay there in luxury. I wanted to protect the people I love."

Duo nodded. He'd heard the news reports that the Winner estate had been attacked by a renegade labor pilot, and one of his sisters had been killed. "I just wanted to move on to better things. And some guy who worked for my pa stole a labor and wreaked havoc when I was younger. The SV2 saved us."

Izumi, Shinohara, and Kumagami joined them. These are friendly, nice people. I think I'll like it here the next few weeks. Duo thought.

Ohta sat glaring at everyone. Stupid kid, pissed off Clancy. He's gonna pay for it. And what's up with those two? Don't they talk? And that kid with that hair... doesn't he ever shut up?

Treize sat quietly watching his partner face off against the woman.

Noin handed them each a small glass of sake. "One." Clancy knocked it back. Wufei drank it, making a face after he swallowed.

Noin poured another. "Two." Clancy drank it again. Wufei had trouble drinking it. His stomach felt uneasy, but he drank it anyway. No way was he going to lose to this woman.



Wufei drank his glass then fell onto the floor.

To make it official, Noin poured Clancy another. She drank it, got up, not the least bit affected, and walked to her quarters.

Treize picked up the fallen pilot and carried him to his quarters.


The next morning, Wufei, nursing a killer headache, was miserable. "I lost to that onna. I am unworthy to pilot a labor for SV2. I'm too weak."

Treize turned to him. "No, you can't give up yet. Justice shan't be served unless you fight." He picked the sulky pilot up by his shoulders. "Come on. Let's go."

"No. I'm too weak to pilot the Ingrams."

Treize didn't want to show his annoyance, but this was getting annoying. "Come off it. You are simply not accustomed to drinking alcohol. It does not make you weak." He dragged the pilot grumbling to the hangar.


I wonder where Duo is. Maybe he's at breakfast already. Quatre left the room they shared and headed for the mess area. Hmm, no Duo here. I wonder where he is.

A loud shout followed by a thud and giggles answered his question.


Shiba entered the hangar to find a long braid hanging from the spare Ingram. "What are you doing in my mech?" He ran up to the deck to yell closer to the boy. "Get out of my robot, you little punk." He pulled the boy's braid.

The head attached to the other end of the braid jerked away and the body attached to the head dropped the wrench he was holding and jumped out of the labor, giggling.


Heero awakened, got dressed, and went to breakfast, as did Trowa, all in silence. At the hangar, the only conversation involved instructions on using the Ingrams.


After the day's training session, Wufei sought solace in a dark corner of the hangar. After a little while, he noticed someone enter the building and walk up to an Ingram and start polishing it, very lovingly. He recognized the figure as Izumi, and the Ingram she was polishing as Alphonse. He stood and walked up to her.

"You really like that labor."

She nearly fell off Alphonse's shoulder. The boy had appeared behind her as silently as a cat. When she regained her composure, she nodded affirmatively.

"Would you like me to teach you how to get in touch with him?"

She stared at him.

"Back home, we practice meditation. I use it to steady myself before piloting."

She blinked and stared some more. "Get in touch with Alphonse?"

He nodded.

"Please. Teach me."


The week passed in much of the same manner. Group 1 passed the time efficiently and silently. Group 2 had friendly banter during training, and Duo continued to annoy Shiba by "fixing" the Ingrams.

Shiba responded by placing traps to catch the boy. The first was one of those step-on-the-trigger-and-wind-up-hanging-by-your-foot traps. Duo avoided that one by using a different door, and the trap actually caught a very startled mechanic.

Then Shiba tried to secure the labor itself, locking the access door down. What he didn't count on was the set of lock picks in the boy's braid.

Shiba was growing impatient with the boy's antics. He decided to go all out on the last one. He set up laser tripwires that would set off the alarm system throughout the hangar. Perfect! I don't think he can get through this one!

What he didn't count on was the boy's flexibility, youth, and expertise in general sneaking.

Group 3 had somewhat more difficulty, with Wufei's problem with women.

In the evenings, Izumi could be found under Wufei's supervision, sitting cross-legged by Alphonse, and she was heard muttering about Justice. By the end of the week, Izumi had learned how to bond with Alphonse. To complete the training, the 6 recruits only had to go on a duty call. So they were stuck there until there was a call for them.

Duo passed the time by teasing everyone and generally annoying them, especially Heero, Ohta, and Shiba.

Quatre was more patient. He spent the time trying to get Trowa to talk, with very little success.

Fortunately for SV2, a call came the next day. There was a black labor rampaging through the town.

Duo jumped up and ran to the hangar, where he helped load the Ingrams on to the carriers then waited impatiently in the car until Quatre joined him.

When they arrived at the scene, from different directions, each pilot clambored into his labor and got into position.

The pilot of the black labor was heading toward Heero's location. He waited until he saw the black labor round a corner, then he yelled through the external speaker, "Get out of your labor. Surrender, or I'll shoot." The black labor fired at Heero. He took out his gun and emptied it at the black labor. How could I miss? He's right in front of me. Must be fast. And before Heero knew it, the black labor had grabbed him, knocked him over, and put his Ingram out of commission.

The black labor walked off in the direction Wufei was waiting. Trowa radioed to Treize. "Target headed your way."

Wufei was prepared. He called through the external speaker, "Kisama, get out of the labor."

"That's not nice, Wufei," Treize said.

The black labor continued to move toward him, suddenly moving quickly at him. Wufei drew the Ingram's gun and fired it, not believing he could miss at such close range.

He dropped the Ingram onto its knees and wailed, "I am weak and pathetic."

The black labor headed for Duo. Treize warned Quatre, who told Duo to be ready.

Thank goodness I got the open space here. This guy is pretty tough.

"Get out of the labor!"

Duo's demand was met with a rush of black toward him.

"Well, if you're going to be that way, well, Shinigami will have to take care of this the hard way."

Quatre stared at his partner. Is this guy nuts?

Duo rushed at the black labor. The black labor rushed at Duo. Since Duo's external speaker was still on, everyone heard him giggling gleefully and muttering about Shinigami and revenge.

It was so bad the black labor was sweatdropping.

But it couldn't faze the pilot of the black labor, who simply turned on his external speaker to share his own maniacal giggles.

They rushed at each other again. Duo, er, Shinigami tackled the black labor and pounded him, until the black labor flipped him over and started pounding him. The fight continued, much like a wrestling match, until Duo's Ingram started beeping. "What the heck's that?" A light flashed: Battely [1] Check. "Aw, shit." He only had another minute to subdue the criminal. He regained the upper hand, punched the black labor in its control area, and knocked it down before his battery ran out. He clambered out of the cockpit to pull the pilot of the other labor out.

He's not much older than I am. Huh.

"So, what's your problem, man? Why are you bent on destroying the city?"

The tall blond pilot with ice blue eyes answered, "I was bored."

Duo put him in the patrol car to be taken for questioning.

When they had all returned to the barracks, Wufei was muttering about being too weak to be able to fight for justice. Treize was comforting him, saying, "If you quit now, your justice will never be served."

"I'm too weak."

Treize sighed. I guess I'll have to do this the hard way. He picked the Chinese boy up, carried him to his car, and they lived happily ever after.

The other four new pilots were assigned to the newly-formed SV3, where they lived relatively happily ever after.

[1] Before you get cranky, this mis-Anglicization was actually in the series.

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